Embracing the Gray

I noticed my first gray hair when I was 20 years old.  Correction…I noticed my first gray hairS  when I was 20 years old.  Multiple grays appeared seemingly overnight.  I had very little reaction.  I thought it was weird but I honestly didn’t think much of it.  They didn’t go away.  It wasn’t a fluke. I had some gray hair.  I was 20 years old. 

            I remember vividly taking the train one weekend from college to visit my grandparents outside of Philadelphia.  While there we went to visit my vibrant and hilarious great grandmother, Nonnie.  We were sitting around her apartment having happy hour and I decided that this was the perfect audience for my announcement of my newfound gray hair.  My grandfather’s response:  “I can’t see it.”  My grandmother’s response:  “My hairdresser would know how to cover that.”  My great grandmother silently sat there and smiled.  Nonnie had a mile wide smile on her face and I even thought I might have heard a giggle.  I called her out immediately.  “Nonnie, why are you smiling?!  I am 20 years old with gray hair!!”  Her smile only grew.  She looked at me with glistening eyes and pride in her voice and said…”This has been my hair color since I was 30.  You get it from me.”  I looked at my beautiful great grandmother with her pearly white hair and her sweet face and I smiled.  She was so happy and proud to be passing along a trait that was so much part of who she was.  Her gorgeous white hair was something she was proud of and embraced and loved about herself.  A head full of white hair by the age of 30.  I saw my future.  

 Nonnie, on her 100th birthday!  BEAUTIFUL inside and out. 

            I loved and love Nonnie but I just didn’t have her strength at the age of 20.  I started dyeing my hair.  For the first time in my life I went to a real hair salon…previously only visiting our back deck for my mom to cut my hair.  It was overwhelming but once I had it dyed and the grays were “gone”, I was hooked.  For the past 19 years I have played the rich man/poor man game of having my hair professionally dyed and dyeing it myself from a box.  It’s about a 20/80 ratio of salon/home.  Until now.  If Nonnie, could see me now!  It has taken me much longer to get there but ladies and gentlemen….I am embracing the gray!!

            I just got to this point of “why?” .  This is me.  These are my genetics.  I am passionate about living a simple and purposeful life.  I try to embrace the natural course of things because time is real and I am aware of it and I try to be present.  I know my hair color seems trivial but it too is real and part of me.  So let me embrace that too.  Aesthetically this transition time is tough…years of dyeing versus the new and natural growth.  I think I love it, not the old but the new.  The real.  The Nonnie. So, if you haven’t seen me in a while you will notice.  It is different.  I am not yet 40 with a head full of gray hair.  But I am me.  And how proud I will be to share my story with my great grandchild someday.  Thank you, Nonnie!  

 Embracing the Gray 

And to be completely transparent, I did tell L that if I just can’t take it, I reserve the right to dye it again at any time.  #keepinitreal  HA!