Big, Beautiful, and Brutal

This is a bit of a selfish intermission to the monthly updates I have been posting, but I have decided that I don't care.  This blog, this space, has forever been a family album of all the big and little things. And this is a little of both...

I have heard that big goals should scare you a little.  This was one of those.  I gave myself a big scary goal.  First I thought about it.  Then I said it out loud.  Then I planned it.  Then I signed up for it.  Then I prepared for it.  And then...I did it.  

I ran a 35 mile trail race.  35 miles.  (I actually ran 36.4 miles because I got lost - yep, my sixth grade orienteering skills, taught by my own father in 'Outdoor Ed' - failed me.  Sorry, Dad!)  I signed up for and ran over 35 miles in a trail running race. It was brutal. It took me 8 hours. 8 hours of running.  I didn't finish first (not even close), I didn't finish last (not even close), but I did finish.  

 

 

 This is what most of the trail looked like.  Absolutely beautiful.  I chose to not listen to a single second of music or podcasts or audiobooks.  Just me and the woods.

 

 In addition to getting lost I fell.  I fell at mile 5 and to be honest that really rattled me (and hurt).  Mile 5, ugh, I knew I had 30 more miles to go and I immediately got in my head with a lot of self-doubt and tears.  ''I can't do this."  "Am I asking too much of a body that doesn't always feel like it belongs to me?" "Why?"  That's the big one, the Why question.  Every person has their 'why' for the big scary goals and I have mine.  I repeated it over and over as I took some deep breaths, trusted my training, trusted my body, dusted myself off and continued on.   

I am so proud of this picture.  On that piece of paper is my 26 week training plan.  6 months.  6 months of consistency and hard work.  Was I perfect with the training?  Absolutely not! - one week I completely bagged a 19 mile run, just flat out didn't do it.  But was I consistent and did I show up for myself?  Absolutely yes!  I listened to and honored my body and I worked really hard for 6 months and I never once put my training before my family or friends or job. 

This gem of a human.  I love him so.  He printed out topo maps (#ThingsGeologistsDo) and labeled my route.  He found dirt road access points that he could get to to see me along the trail to cheer for me and check on me.  He spent nearly 8 hours in the woods too (with the exception of getting himself some hot food and grading some papers at a gas station)- just to support me.  Love Does. 

Smiling and sore and back in the woods the very next day! 

A big, beautiful, and brutal goal accomplished.